When your dreams are dashed…

Recently, a couple of friends have experienced profound disappointment and discouragement. I will not go into the particulars because what happened to them is not my story to tell but theirs. But I understand disappointment and discouragement and know they can drown you if you let them.

I don’t have a quick fix

It’s those negative thoughts that hold your head under—the feelings of worthlessness, of inadequacy, of being wrong in a right world, of being a victim and having no control over your life. And if you have even a smidgen of obsessive-compulsive tendencies, your brain will spin a sticky web that requires untold strength and sometimes help from others to escape.

Most of the time, we people, in order to camouflage these feelings, put on a good front, don’t talk about what is going on and tough it out. So we isolate. Which makes everything worse because isolation leads to a sense of alienation – of being different, usually in a bad way, which is distorted thinking. It’s a spiritual death spiral.

 

I don’t have a quick fix. I am unaware of any sure-fire solutions that will turn around the sadness and depression that come from disappointment. When your dreams are dashed, your expectations not met, your life put on hold because you don’t know what to do next, well, these things take time to sort out, to wade through, to wrestle with before the unquenchable spark of hope reignites aspiration.

Hope springs eternal. Goodreads has 11,365 quotations dealing with the idea of hope.  I have my own favorite, a poem by Victor Hugo, translated into English.

 

Be like the bird who
pausing in flight on limb
too slight feels it give way
beneath her.

Yet sings,
knowing she has wings.

 

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